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."Well, did you tell her why?" Erin sat up andpatted the bed for Henderson to join her."Yes." Henderson walked over and sat downnext to Erin, careful not to sit too close."And she still didn't understand?"Henderson sighed as she thought of her Aunt."She was old and set in her ways.And she ex-pected me to be able to ignore my attraction towomen and marry a man.""Were you ever with a man?" Erin was curiousabout Henderson past lovers, no matter whothey may have been."No!" Henderson said and flopped back on thebed."Even if I had tried, I think I would'vethrown up from the kissing alone."They both laughed and stared up at the revolv-ing ceiling fan."They are a lot rougher than awoman.It's the facial hair, I think." Erin said,having only kissed one woman in her lifetime,but the experience had been earth shatteringand very different from a man."No, it's a lot more than the facial hair.Theyalways try to stick their tongue down yourthroat right away." Henderson said."How would you know!""Hey, I had horrible high school dates too."Henderson clarified and then sighed."God, Ihated high school.It never failed, every date Iwent on the guy always slimed my face with aforced wet kiss and attempted a rough grope ofmy breast." She shivered with the grotesquethought and then laughed."Except for Barry.Barry could kiss.""So what happened with Barry, did it get hot andheavy?" Erin asked, turning on her side to faceHenderson and resting her head in her hand."No, we never went passed kissing.He was theonly guy that kissed soft and slow.And wewere content with kissing, never anything more.""Why?"Henderson laughed."Probably because wewere both really gay.""Get out! Him too?""Oh yeah.He was more feminine than I was."Henderson folded her arms back behind herhead."He was a great guy.Went to prom to-gether and everything.""Whatever happened to him? Are you guys stillin touch?""No, we lost touch after high school.But I heardhe's out and proud, living in California."Erin lay in silence for a moment, resisting theurge to reach out and touch Henderson."Whatabout now, do you have any close friends?"Henderson swallowed hard at the question."Ihad better go." She sat up and rubbed herhands on her knees."I still have a lot things togo over and I know you do too."Erin got up with her and walked with her to thefront door."I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offendyou." She had gone too far with the questioningand she regretted doing so."No offense taken Mac, really.You gonna be okalone here today?" She thought briefly aboutstaying, to make sure she was really ok.But shedidn't like the personal questions and her fond-ness and attraction to Mac made it harder forher to keep the distance she so easily kept eve-ryone else.She decided to go and to call Maclater to check on her."Yes, fine.I think I'll start in on some of yourbooks."Henderson fidgeted with her car keys, nervousabout Mac reading her stuff."Ok, well I'll seeyou later." She opened the door and walked out."Bye." Erin said closing the door behind her.She looked around the house and decided itwas time for a drink.Searching the kitchen, shefound a bottle of Jack Daniels and a six pack ofCoke.The house was completely stocked andhad everything she may need.She poured her-self a drink and walked about the house, takingin it's walls, getting used to it's confines.Shereminded herself that she needed to unpack thephotos she had brought.Pictures of her fromchildhood, as well as meaningless photos ofpeople she did not know.All of it was needed tohelp make the home seem like it was really hers.She wandered back into the living room and satdown on the couch.Thoughts of Mark swirledin her head and she didn't know whether sheshould scream or cry.Why did this upset her sobadly? She had known about the affair, evenaccepted it in a strange sort of way.She neverconfronted him on it, she hadn't cared.So whydid she care now?She took another deep pull from her glass.TheCoke did nothing to mask the potent flavor ofthe J.D., a whiskey she usually avoided drink-ing.But today she embraced its strength andsavored the burn it inflicted as it seared downher throat.It acknowledged her pain, con-fronted it head on and then numbed it.Numbed it so she could, for the briefest of time,think about it without flinching, work it outwithout bleeding to death.Mark.She leaned back on the couch anddrained her drink, desperate for it to fight herdemons.Where had it gone wrong? She hadgrown used to the betrayal, but why? Becauseshe had stopped loving him.The revelationcame out of nowhere, and yet it floated in soclearly.She was just as guilty as he was for thefailure of their marriage.Had she truly cared,she would've tried harder, she would've in-sisted he end the affair.But she hadn't.Andnow this baby, or the hint of one on paper, wasa slap in the face.A brutal awakening that hermarriage was indeed over, and had been for along time.The comfortable groove of ignorance she hadbeen living in had come to a shocking halt.Itwas time to change, time to make a move, shewas now forced to face her failure and that'swhat pained her the most.She decided to face itnow, before she went in after Adams and whilethe J.D.was making her courageous.She pickedup the phone from the table next to the couch.She punched in Mark's cell phone number andlistened as it rang for several moments.Sheheard his voice apologizing for missing the calland asking for her to please leave a message."Mark, it's me.I really need to talk to you, canyou please call me back as soon as you get thismessage?" She hung up and lay down on thecouch, stretching out her heavy limbs.Thestress and the adrenaline had fatigued her andshe closed her eyes and drifted off, the phoneclutched to her chest [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]