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.“Good night.” She turned to go.“Stay.Talk to me.Just talk.”She turned around.Her gaze went to his bare chest and her heart raced.“Every time we do that I end up losing my shirt.”He chuckled.“You could take it off now and save me the trouble.”She frowned.“Fine.Talk to me on the phone, like you have before.Neither of us can sleep.What would it hurt?”“The last time I spoke to you on the phone, I was insulting your mom.”He shook his head with amusement, then grinned fully as his gaze shifted to her pajamas.“Tightrope-walking elephants, huh?”She walked into the kitchen and got a drink to swallow her pills.All vitamined up, she walked back and handed him the water.“Take your vitamins,” she commanded.He looked down at his hand.“Only if you’ll talk to me.On the phone.Your shirt’s safe.”“Then don’t take the vitamins.” She headed for her room.Alone.Shirt on.She was keeping things safe for herself.“What if I get sick?” he called out.“Wouldn’t you feel terrible knowing all it would have taken was talking to me, and you could have prevented it?”She swung around.“That’s emotional blackmail!”“See what you’re driving me to?” He held out the pills.“Deal?” When she didn’t answer, he baited her.“I swear I feel a sore throat coming on.”Jason gave Sue a minute alone in her bedroom before he called.He smiled the whole time.“Now, is this so bad?” he asked when she answered.“What do you want to talk about?”He lay back on the sofa.“You.”“I’m not that interesting.”“Not true.Maggie found you quite entertaining.”“Please.She thinks I’m nuts.”“No, she said you sounded like a good girl.Which is why I’m in trouble.She said I had to keep my tongue out of your mouth and stop pressuring you to go to bed with me.”“You told her that I thought it was you?”“She asked, and Maggie always knows if I’m lying.”Sue paused.“She knows you that well, huh? When did you go to live with her?”Jason didn’t want to talk about himself.But Sue had made it clear that if he wanted her to open up he would have to do the same.“Almost sixteen.”“That old?” she asked.“How many foster homes did you live in?”“It’s my time to ask a question,” he said.“Oh.I didn’t know we were taking turns.”“It’s only fair.You play fair, don’t you?”“Okay.What do you want to know?”He wanted to know about her ex but decided to start off small.He tried to think of a different question.Something lighter.“Why are you obsessive about not getting colds?” he asked.But when she didn’t have a quick reply he got a bad feeling.“My father,” she finally said.“He died of complications from a cold.”Real good, Dodd! “I’m sorry.I didn’t know.”“How could anyone know?” she said.“It was a damn cold.He shouldn’t have died.”It was the first time he’d ever heard her use foul language.Pain echoed in her voice.“How old were you?” he asked.“Eight.”Her ache wrapped around his heart and became his own.He pictured the photograph of her standing beside her father’s grave.“Things like that just shouldn’t happen to kids,” he said.“What happened to you? How did your parents die?”Her question flipped around his head, landing like a dead fish on his heart.But he had to talk or she would shut up.“I never knew my father.My mom had a drug problem.They put me into the foster program while she went to rehab.She didn’t come back.”He closed his eyes.He’d never told anyone.Not even Maggie.Oh, he was certain she knew, but she hadn’t heard it from him.Things like that would have been in his file when Maggie first agreed to take him in.He still didn’t understand why Maggie had done so.He remembered Sue was on the phone.“Not the Brady Bunch, either.”“I’m so sorry.” Her words came heavy.“Don’t be.” He hated the pity he heard in her voice.It was as bad as the condemnation.“I did fine.” He raked a hand over his face and shut his mind to the past.“My turn.Did you sleep with the foot doctor?”“Maybe I’ll take the dare,” she said.“The dare?” he asked.“Aren’t we playing truth or dare, where you either answer a question or take a dare?”She’d asked the question lightly, but he could still hear pity in her voice.Jason tried to think about what he could say to make her forget about his pitiful past.“I dare you to come out here naked and spend the night in my arms.”“I never slept with him.”He ran a hand over his chest, surprised but pleased.And he’d also gotten her to forget about him—which is what he’d truly wanted.“You dated him a whole month and never had sex?”“We were going to Mexico to…make it a real relationship.Then he canceled.But I ‘d already made up my mind I wasn’t going.”“Why?”“Because I realized he had issues.”“So you knew he was married and dating his nursing staff?”“No.He has a foot fetish.”Jason laughed.“Well, I hate to tell you this, but you do have sexy feet.And ears.I love your ears.”“So I’ll add feet and ear fetishes to your issue list.”He waited a second before asking, “My issue list? What are my issues? Besides not naming or knowing the sex of my cat.Which I really don’t think is a big deal.”“It’s a big deal.Plus, you look at women as bread! According to you, we go stale.And the longest relationship you’ve ever had was two months.”He pushed his head back on his pillow.“I didn’t mean stale like that and you know it.And it was three months.It isn’t fair judging someone from their past.Damn! Why do women do this?”Frustration built in his chest.For the first time, he accepted that Sue could really turn him away, really not let him get any closer.No making love.Worse, no Christmas.The realization brought a lump of regret into his stomach.“Why do women do what?” she asked.He sat up.“Try to see the future.What’s wrong with living for today? Enjoying what is right now?”“Now doesn’t last very long,” she replied.“See? It’s already gone.”“But what are you missing by not living in that moment?” Jason’s grip on his phone tightened.“Think about how many things you’ve enjoyed and experienced.How many of those things are still a part of your life?” He let out another sigh of frustration.“Things come and go, but to close yourself off because you can’t look into the future and find written guarantees…well, it’s fucking wrong.It’s cheating yourself out of life.Because nothing in this life comes with guarantees.”“You’ve obviously never been in love,” she said.“You’ve never had your heart ripped into tiny pieces.Had everything you thought was real suddenly be…not real.” Her voice shook a little.“There are some things, Jason, that just aren’t worth the risk.”He knew all about having his heart ripped out, and not by just any woman.“So I’m not worth the risk.Is that what you’re saying?” His mother sure as hell hadn’t thought so.He pushed a hand through his hair.“No.I’m just not wanting to jump into something before…”“Before what?”“Before I’m sure.”Hope and frustration fought for a spot in his chest.“How long before you’re sure? Because I’m sure right now.I’m sure I want you beside me.I want…” Christmases.“Sex, right? You want sex.”“That, too.But this isn’t just about sex, Sue.It never has been.”He hung up, but as he did so, Jason realized the significance of what he’d said.Because it had always been about sex with him before.Always.It was a lot safer that way.Looked like things just weren’t safe anymore.If it wasn’t just about sex, what else was it about? That was the question that kept Sue up most of the night and even plagued her on Wednesday morning when they went to feed Lacy’s animals [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]