[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
.Is it really true that I love somebody so wholeheartedly?Because we are always so reserved and because we donÕt trust ourselves, we donÕt trust anybody.ÒI love you with all my heart.And I know that you love me.There is no doubt whatsoever.This is tremendous.For me at least, to know that it is possible for me.I have never expected it.How can I expect something which I have never known? So it is more like a surprise.I feel really grateful.But to whom? Well, to lifeÓ Ñ sweet-aching longing.If you have not loved (and if you do not love) somebody with all your heart you are not a fully-fledged human being yet; youÕre only a potential human being.To be in love is to be in an altered state of mind.Love is not reasonable; it is beyond reasoning.You are alive and overflowing with feeling.Such a thing happens once in a lifetime.IÕm very glad to hear that your heart is open now.Let it open even though sometimes it may be painful.WeÕre afraid to love, afraid that weÕll be rejected; afraid that we wonÕt be taken seriously, or weÕll be manipulated; afraid that weÕll be vulnerable, and sometimes we donÕt trust ourselves; we donÕt believe that we can really love somebody.Let all your feelings come out.Write down, express your feelings in blank verses.DonÕt be in a hurry to get married.Get to know her better.SheÕs a human being; like all of us she has her share of faults.Try to understand the whole person and love her for that, not just parts of her, or your own projection of her.You said, ÒShe is very honest.Ó ThatÕs the most important quality; without it there can be no meaningful relationship.ÒBut sheÕs so painfully level-headed about things.Ó What do you expect? To be crazy about a guy who is crazily in love with her? Of course she should be more careful.She must have some experience with men who get crazy and thenÉ ItÕs better for her to learn to love you more and more.For a woman the stake is bigger.And love is not enough.You must have read/heard about ro-mantic love.Some of them didnÕt last long, some had tragic ends.ÒIt hurts like a raw nerve.Ó Well, well, it hurts and at the same time you donÕt want the hurt to go away.ItÕs so precious, so special.ItÕs painful and itÕs pleasant too.To love somebody with all your heart is to become a real human being.This experience of yours has real impact on the way you look at human beings; it is priceless.Even love for a woman can be a spiritual experience.There should be spirituality in every aspect of our life.Then only life would be beautiful and meaningful.You see, nobody can teach you how to open your heart; how to be vulnerable; how to love another human being; how to go beyond all conventions; how to go beyond limits and to find that which is beyond.What you are going through is somewhat similar to the experience of enlightenment.You are in a totally different world with different values; you have become a different person and you cannot be the same person that you once were Ñ the transformation is irreversible.ÒI value heart-to-heart contact with other people.Ó I know what it feels like to be in contact with people heart-to-heart.Most relationships do not work because there is no bilateral (mutual) caring, sharing, vulnerability, honesty, ten-derness, sensitivity, and real and abundant flowing of mettŒ (not desire).There is one more quality which is no less important, i.e., deep understanding of another person as a person (not as a sex object).Sex is also a part of the relationship between a man and a woman; it should not be neglected, but it should be in harmony with the real sharing of pleasure and not just a gratification of oneÕs animalistic desire.We talk too much about love.Do we know what we are talking about? You said, ÒIt feels, sometimes, like I no longer know what reality is.Ó Did you know what reality was about? As long as we think about reality we are separated from it; when we are one with reality we no longer think about it.If I could give you advice, I would say take your time to understand your own mind very deeply about what it is you really want from this life.One can go on and on doing one thing after another getting in and out of relationships.What do you expect from a relationship? What are you looking for? If you donÕt know what you are looking for, you will end up having a lot of things that you donÕt want.I know what you mean when you said Òliving from the heartÓ.With most of my relationships with people, I have been very frustrated thinking that something which makes relationships authentic is missing.In quite a few cases, I didnÕt have it myself.So things didnÕt work well in the long run; something goes wrong.But now IÕm much more aware of it.Yet with some people friendship happens so naturally: for example, itÕs so easy for me to relate to you.I hope both of you are really open and honest with each other.There is no such thing as Ôthey lived happily ever afterÕ.There will always be some unexpected problems; we only need to learn to solve them intelligently.ItÕs necessary to have some problems.After youÕve worked through a difficult time together with sensitivity and patience you become closer, you understand each other better.That understanding of each other makes a relationship more meaningful and long-lasting.Love alone isnÕt sufficient.Deep understanding of each otherÕs feelings, wishes, dreams, fears, hopes, etc., is very important.Our parents love us.How come we canÕt relate to them?You are very fortunate to know what it means to love another human being.I donÕt know about the future, but I believe your love for her has already brought much depth and meaning to your life.I think that alone is enough for a lifetime.Most people have lived and died without knowing what it means to love ten-derly.They sing songs about that though.They say the nightingale pierces his bosom with a thorn When he sings his love songSo do we allHow else should we sing? (Kahlil Gibran)Nice to hear that she and you are intimate now.Get to know the living reality Ñ her mind, her feelings, her difficulties in adapting to you and America and the conflict in her mind if she has any (most people do have conflicts).Do you really know the depth of her being? Do you know how it feels being her? What if she wonÕt marry you?What makes a relationship really nourishing, satisfying, lasting, alive, and not merely routine?You wrote, ÒI wanted her so muchÉ but what do I want?Ó That question is very important, and nobody can give you the answer to that.You have to look deep inside yourself for the answer.The union of hearts Ñ deep and intuitive understanding of each other; non-verbal communication; mystical, transcending all reasons; a knowing in the guts that the two are meant to be together on this round of rebirth, loving, caring, and helping each other; knowing that the understanding between the two will grow and grow until the two minds become totally transparent; no fears, no secrets and complete trust; no games or role playing; being vulnerable.Is this possible?Ask her to tell you all about herself Ñ her childhood, her parents, her brothers and sisters, her hopes, her fears, etc.You said, ÒSo, the nutty intense craving has fadedÓ, and also, ÒIs it because it just faded on its own? Or partly because I have been successful in gradually winning her affection?Ó Life cannot go on with such great intensity, it would burn you out.Mostly it is (and should be) just simple.Everything in nature goes in cycles.You canÕt go on living with that intense feeling all the time; your survival would be in danger, you would not be able to do the usual things you need to do in your life.The intense feeling is too con-suming.I am not invalidating or in any way saying that the intense feeling is not important [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]