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.The kid had also stopped associating with Caleb, no doubt afraid of getting caught in thecrossfire if Caleb was ever found out.After that, Caleb put the idea of sex or romance on the backburner and just went about being a typical teen boy.Unfortunately, part of being a typical teen boyusually involved sex, or at least the want of it.It hadn t been easy being around other guys andpretending to get caught up in their talk of girls, when he was actually checking out the guysthemselves instead.He d wanted to tell Nick, but after the death of their parents, he d had an almostclinical fear of losing Nick as well.If he d spoken up about being gay, and Nick had rejected him, orturned his back on him, Caleb wouldn t have been able to face life.Even when their parents had beenalive, he was closest to Nick.He couldn t take the chance.Even now.During the drive, Dane admitted that his first time hadn t turned out to be as special as he denvisioned  going at it on an old sofa in one of the back rooms of some seedy little strip club withone of the other strippers.That, he confessed, had left him feeling dirty and disgusting.He d quitwork the next day and didn t dance again until he came to the Phoenix, citing that the Phoenix had atouch of class, and Max was a decent guy who actually cared about his boys.Dancing at the Phoenixhad actually helped him regain his sense of self-worth, and the other boys at the club weren t just abunch of filthy sluts looking for a buck or a fuck.Caleb sensed the man s deep respect for the other dancers, himself included.What would hethink of him though, if he knew about his little session with Brock the attorney? Or what he wascontemplating? Or even how quickly he d taken Samuel into his bed?What do you care? This guy is not your concern.You barely know him.Keep it that way.The fewer people you get close to, the less you will hurt or disappoint.* * * *Why he was telling this kid all the intricate details of his life, he had no real clue.Perhapsthinking if he showed Caleb he trusted him as a friend, the guy would start trusting him, too.But theboy just sat in silence, barely offering an entire sentence during the whole trip.At least he isn ttelling you to shut the fuck up, Dane mused.That s something.When they crossed into Raleigh city limits, Dane glanced at Caleb. So do you want me totake you to your brother s place? Are you going to meet him someplace else? He looked inquiringlyat the kid. Uh&  Caleb shifted anxiously and cleared his throat. Just find a motel.I ll take a cab fromthere. You re not staying with him? No, Caleb murmured and stared out the side window, then added in a whisper,  He s inprison.Dane was at a loss for words for a moment.Prison? He was actually stunned that Caleb hadadmitted that to him.The guy didn t seem keen on revealing personal details of his life. Uh& okay,Dane nodded slowly. Well, I can drive you there.It s no problem. No, Caleb said in a low voice. I d rather go by myself.Dropping the matter without pressing for details of his brother s incarceration, Dane located amotel and parked out front, then shut off the car. So& I guess I ll go get us a couple rooms then, Heopened the door. I can pay, Caleb said. Don t worry about it, Dane smiled. My treat.Caleb bit his upper lip anxiously then shrugged. There s no reason to waste money on tworooms.We ll only be staying one night. He glanced at Dane almost hesitantly, as if Dane wouldobject.As if.Dane nodded,  All right.Makes sense. The boy s crisp blue eyes pulled him in for amoment and he almost let himself get caught in there, when he remembered Samuel and the way Calebhad looked at the guy.You ain t got a chance, buddy, Dane chided to himself, don t even go there.* * * *All the pleasantries of getting in to see an inmate barely fazed Caleb after four years of theroutine.He entered the large visitor area, the high ceiling and solid walls echoing back the clamor ofthe other visitors.Caleb took a seat at a table furthest from everyone else and waited anxiously forNick to come in.When the heavy door unlocked loudly and was shoved open, a guard entered with Nick.Theshort sleeves of his orange jumpsuit were rolled up over his biceps, which were much moredeveloped than the last time he d seen him.Though Caleb hated this place, and the realities itslammed him with, he was always excited to see Nick.Even from within these walls, he had a way ofeasing Caleb s stress and simply getting him to relax and laugh for a while.Caleb slid his chair back and stood up slowly as Nick approached, the guard exiting backthrough the door.A smile stretched across his lips. Nick- The smile vanished as quickly as if it hadbeen slapped away as he got a good look at Nick s face. Little brother, Nick clearly recognized the look in Caleb s eyes and grabbed him before hecould react, hugging him fiercely.His lips moved close to his ear and he whispered tightly,  Don t,Caleb.This isn t your fault.None of it [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]