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.” He said the words playfully, but I still felt a need to protest.“You didn’t ruin it.I mean, I was the one who suggested we go there in the first place.And if I remember correctly, I was the one who ran off by myself while you were there being perfect and nice like you always are.”Rayne started to laugh.“What?” I asked.“After everything we’ve been through,” he said with another chuckle, “you still think I’m perfect?”For some reason, I could feel my face turning red.I punched him in the arm.“Well, you’re perfect to me.I don’t know, maybe I just mean…you’re perfect for me.”He stopped laughing, but he still gazed at me with a secret, hidden smile.“You’re perfect for me too,” he said.Whenever he wore that look it used to make me feel insecure, like he was entertained by my obvious stupidity, or thinking about all the mysteries in the world that he understood and I didn’t.But now, I loved that look of his.I wasn’t sure why, but it made me feel wanted and understood.Rayne reached for my hand from the other side of the car.“I just thought we could give this place another chance, you know, get rid of the bad memory by making a new one.” Then he playfully added, “That is, if you think you can handle it.”I gave him a roguish grin.“I guess you’ll just have to come and find out…”We dashed cheerfully across the small patch of grass at the park and continued down the pathway until we reached the concrete platform.I could feel the misty ocean air, hear the waves crashing below us.The early morning sky was still black as night, but random flecks of light from nearby streets and houses appeared faintly in the distance.The view was different in the dark, more hidden, almost mystical.I felt my body shiver.“Are you cold?” Rayne asked.“Maybe a little.”He immediately slid off his jacket and draped it around my shoulders.“Thank you,” I said.I pulled my arms through the sleeves, inhaling the heady scent of him that lingered on the fabric.When I was done, he stopped to look at me, giving me that same secretive, amused smile he always did.I glanced down at myself, his sleeves hanging long over my hands, the bottom flaps of the jacket flailing out over the full pink skirt of my dress.”“I know,” I said.“I look ridiculous.”He laughed and shook his head.“Actually, I was thinking how much better it looks on you than it does on me.”The sides of my mouth curled up, and I reached to hug his arm, planting my chin near his shoulder.“Why are you so cute?”He smiled down at me.“I guess you just have that effect on me.”I turned my head, staring out at the inky waves below the edge of the small cliff.We were quiet for a moment.The memory of our fight in this same place came back to my mind.Rayne was trying to explain to me that my Watermark was broken, and I was freaking out that life was spiraling out of my control, scared of all the challenges I didn’t want to face.“Isn’t it amazing how much things can change in six months,” I said, still staring out at the horizon.“It’s hard to believe,” Rayne agreed.I continued to reflect.“I mean, everything is just so different now, especially since I came back here.I feel like a completely different person.”“You’re still you,” he said.“You’ve just experienced things that changed your perspective.”“I guess that’s true.It’s just strange that a place I’ve lived in my entire life, a place that I love, can suddenly feel so… I don’t know…distant? Does that make sense?”Rayne nodded.“Yeah, definitely.I think I felt the same thing after I left Ambrosia.It just didn’t feel like home anymore.”I smiled sadly.“I’m still really going to miss it here.And Ambrosia is like, this big, unknown thing that’s kind of scary to think about, but…it’s also pretty exciting.It’s like, all those things we talked about in the diary while you were gone, all those possibilities for the future, are actually possible now.”Rayne pulled me in front of his chest, gazing down at me with mesmerizing green eyes.“I know,” he murmured.“I couldn’t think about anything else all day.”Then I was lost in his eyes, and the possibilities, and his soft, tender lips.I could have stayed there all night—my hands in his hair, his breath on my mouth.We stumbled to the bench a few feet away and he pulled me into his lap, kissing me again, harder, the weeks of separation aching to release.“I missed you,” Rayne whispered, for the hundredth time that day.I understood why he had to say it.I felt it too; that yearning to express my relief, the need to remind myself that his touch was real.I paused for only a second to breathe, when a flicker of light broke through the bushes at the top of the ramp.My body froze.“What is it?” Rayne asked.“I think I saw a flashlight,” I said, standing from the bench.I gave him a wry smile.“Are we allowed to be here this late?”He shook his head and laughed.“I doubt it.” He jerked his head toward the top of the ramp then hopped from the bench to grab my hand.“Come on,” he urged.And then we were scampering down the ramp with hushed giggles toward the sand.It was a new memory, a fond one.This time, neither of us were running away or hiding from the truth.We simply kicked off our shoes, took each other’s hands, and let the possibilities take flight.37.DENIALOn Sunday, Rayne and I spent the afternoon at Balboa Island, riding the Ferris wheel, eating ice cream, watching the boats glide by through Newport Harbor.It felt like freedom.The sun was bright, the breeze was pleasant, and we were together, never to be apart.Later that evening we sat curled up on Rayne’s couch, snuggling under a blanket.Rayne combed his fingers through my hair, while I traced invisible circles with my finger over his knee, reflecting on the day, pondering all it represented, a new life, a new beginning with Rayne [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]