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."Um, Sam, get me another beerwhile you're in the fridge?"205Chaos Magicby Jay LygonI wasn't in the refrigerator, but in Hector's house, I waseveryone's servant.I bent down to grab Joey a second beer.Behind me, I heard groans.When I handed the bottle to Joey,I saw that his first one was still full."I'd like another one, too," Brett said.Whatever.I turned around and got a bottle for him."No, I want a really cold one." Brett refused the first one Igrabbed."Reach far to the back of the fridge," Joey advised.Theylaughed."Way back.Bend all the way down.Take your time."I slammed down Brett's beer and tugged open a containerof dip."Okay, what's the joke?"Brett looped his arm over the back of his chair andshrugged."You're putting it out there when you bend down.It would be rude of us to ignore that ass.""Those balls," Joey added."And, of course, the trouser python."They'd both sucked my dick before, so I didn't understandthe fascination."Sam?" Hector called from the living room."The Master summons his slave." Brett sneered."I'm a submissive, not a slave.""As if there's a difference.""There's a world of difference, Brett, if you have a fuckingclue what you're talking about.I have hard limits.I can sayno." I stirred the dip and tossed the spoon into the sink."Do you say no?"I said no to you, didn't I?* * * *206Chaos Magicby Jay LygonWhen I went into the living room, I was at first shaken,and then horrified, to see my Gods and Goddesses in thedivine flesh."Awfully kind of you to open your house to us," Aggiestepped forward from the tightly packed group to talk toHector.Aggie was a tall, thin whip of a man with a weatheredface.To my family, he was the main God, so I wasn'tsurprised when he spoke for the others.He gripped his JohnDeere baseball cap with his long, thin fingers."We're muchobliged."For a powerful God, he had great manners."Hector, meet Aggie." The words "God of Agriculture"seemed to stick in my throat."We've done introductions.I didn't know you had family inthe area, Sam.""Family?" I didn't know what frightened me more Hectorthinking I held back something from him, or the Gods invitingthemselves over."Don't deny you're one of us, Sammy," a curvaceousredhead with overblown sex-kitten movie-star looks blew akiss to me.Mama Fertility perched happily on the arm ofHector's chair, her stockings and garters playing peek-a-boowith the hem of her tight skirt."What a virile boyfriend youhave, Sammy.Love, is it?" She shimmied across the room.Hector let her plant a full kiss on his lips.Except the high holidays at my parents' house, I rarelysaw any of the other Gods we worshipped.207Chaos Magicby Jay Lygon"It's so good to see all of you." Keep smiling, Sam."Whatbrings you to Long Beach?""Your invitation, Sammy." Mama Fertility took my hand."I'm jealous as hell," she admitted to Hector."Sammy's myfavorite Dewey.If he had been into women, I would haveslapped a collar on him before he hit puberty." She ran herhand down my chest."A collar and nothing else.Doesn't hehave a delicious body?""Perfect," Hector agreed as I tried to hide my face.Her hand lingered on my groin.If I could have backedaway without insulting her, I would have.As it was, I had toendure the grope."Sam would have been a natural companion for me.Howcan anyone look at him and not immediately think: Sex?"Oh man, did I ever want to change the subject."I invitedyou to Hector's party?" Did my voice sound strained? Did mysmile fade? "And you all came? How.incredible.What ablessing on this house." My dimples ached as I forced mysmile.I waited for Hector to ask what was happening, but heseemed to have a weirdness filter in his brain.Angelena phased in at the kitchen door."Psst, Sam!""Please excuse me, Sir." I hurried over to Angelena."Helpme, Goddess, in my time of need."She waved away my quick prayer."Never mind that shit,Sweet-tart."I followed her into the kitchen and whispered, "Did I reallyinvite all the Gods over?"She made a 'so-so' hand gesture."You repeated yourinvitation in front of the altars when you made your offerings208Chaos Magicby Jay Lygonthis week.The others were looking for some excuse to bringthemselves to your attention, so they co-opted the invite.Bunch of fucking mooches.If they so much as look at myaltar.Well, we'll burn that bridge if we come to it."Through the window over the kitchen sink, I could see Joeyand Brett kissing in the backyard.They wouldn't notice muchof what was going on around them.A small blessing, thankthe Gods."You're welcome, Sam," about seven Gods replied from thefront room.Great.I had to watch my mouth and my thoughts.I pulled Angelena over to the far corner of the kitchen."Why do the Gods want my attention?"Her eyes gleamed as she scooped salsa onto a chip."Thisis networking for them.Your faith is incredibly powerful, Sam.It's strong, and it's pure.All the Gods want you to worshipthem.Some don't want to share you."We peered around the kitchen door into the living room.Major Gods and Goddesses chatted quietly.The lesser Gods were full of peacock swagger.The foolish,the drunk, and the desperate usually uttered the prayers thatbrought those kinds of Gods into existence, and the Gods oflast resort reflected it.Yet, no matter how slick haired, shinysuited, and sleazy they were, they were Gods.In the middle of them, taller than any God except Aggie,and exuding more power, was Hector."I should join him," Iwhispered to Angelena."I couldn't agree more, Sam." She gave me a small nudgethat almost knocked me flat on my face.209Chaos Magicby Jay LygonSince he was being so nice about the unexpected guests, Iwrapped myself around Hector.He loved it when I clung."Your friends will be here soon.Why don't I move my, er,family, out to the backyard?"No one moved as I tried to herd Gods out the back door.They weren't going to move until I conceded something.Through the huge window in the living room, I could see Larryand David parking their car.Out of desperation, I made anoffer."If you write up a list of everyone here, I swear I willpray directly to you at least once a month.""You pray to the Goddess of Traffic every day," the LottoGod complained."No one thinks of me until the pot reachesthirty million."I was a worshipper, not a pushover."I never prayed to youbefore.I could keep with that policy," I said, with sweetnessthat I clearly didn't mean."I could make it worth your while, eh, Sammy?" Lottowriggled his eyebrows."He's got Love, idiot.And looks.What would he want withmere money?" A stunning woman in her late thirties, hergolden hair coifed in a rich lady hair-do, shoved through theothers and squeezed my hand with her heavily jeweledfingers.Her perfect smile and immaculately tailored clothesreminded me of the ads for real estate agents who sold onlymulti-million dollar houses."Eternal Youth, and I'm very bigin this town.Don't let looks fool you.I'm older than dirt.Name's Doreen Gray-De Leon." She winked, letting me knowthe name was a joke."You don't realize it, but you've beentapping me for about six years now.You sure want to stay a210Chaos Magicby Jay Lygonboy.Glad to do it, of course.Comp.No charge.Professionalcourtesy, right? If I were you, though, honey, I'd let it goabout another four or five years before turning to me again.When you finish growing up you're going to be breathtaking.On the cusp between handsome and cute.Underwear-modelmaterial." As she talked, she steered me toward the altars."But a place of my own would make it easier for me to be onhand when you needed me, right, Peter Pan?"The other Gods protested, "If she gets her own altar, weget ours!"Larry and David crossed the front lawn.I pleaded silently with Larry and David.Not with Godseverywhere! Stop.Please stop.Let me get this cleared awaybefore you see my weirdness.They kept walking [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]