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.Anincredibly poignant mix of fury andsadness overwhelmed his gaze. Becausewe won t make it, Emma, until you canaccept me for who I am flaws and all.And I don t want that to be the truth, but itis. I do accept you. No, you accept what you think of mebut you don t accept me.And because ofthat, you don t trust me.There is norelationship without trust.You know that,Emma.So tell me the truth.What about medon t you trust? Haven t I been a goodboy? Haven t I tried so very hard thesepast few days?A tiny sob broke free.I covered mymouth with one hand, humiliated that I dshown him how much his words affectedme. Haven t I, Emma? You ve been wonderful. Then what is it? Why won t youtrust me? Tell me.If there s going to beany chance for us, I need to know.Panic hit me.I felt trapped. It s notan either/or situation, Gabriel.It s both.Idon t trust you or your money.Not yet. Ipaled.I wanted to walk back the words, tosilence them.Looking at his face, seeingthe devastation erupting across it, Irealized I failed the test. I want to but I mnot there yet.I m sorry. Why? He stood there, taut as astring on the verge of snapping.There was no hope for it.I had tocome clean.The weekend disappeared asif it never was.I was back to being thathostile girl of seventeen again. How many women have you hadthis year, Gabriel? How many last year?How many the year before that?His stare clouded before becomingruthless and sharp. The number doesn thave bearing on you. Wrong.It has everything to do withme.How many times am I going to tripover your exes? I just met you again onFriday and not even eight hours later therewas Embry.He deflated. I m sorry.It wasfucked up, I know. Women are interchangeable to you,to men like you.They ve always havebeen.We re all the same.Throw somemoney at us and it ll fix anything, won tit? Lonely? Here s my card go shopping.Bored? Take the car out for a drive.Honey, I m sorry I blew off dinner.Here ssome lingerie.Why don t you go put it onso I can make it up to you?The muscle in his jaw clenched. Idon t treat you that way. Because I won t let you treat melike that.And you know why? Because I llnever let myself depend on you, Gabriel.Iwon t let you become everything to me.Iwon t.I can t. If I lost all my money would I thenbe good enough for you, Emma? Wouldthat make me a better man in your eyes?Does being poor automatically you abetter person?I mulishly kept my mouth shut. If money is so damned bad, thenwhy are you so ambitious? Why didn t youstay back home and work as a waitress?This I couldn t let pass. Because Iwanted to make something of my life. And those people aren t makingsomething of their lives? Why? Don t theyget up just as early and leave just as late?Don t they work just as hard, harder thanyou even, because they re up on their feetall day while you sit in your preciouscube?I hated how he put me on the defense,easily making me sound just like the snobhe accused me of being. You know whatI mean. Oh, I understand perfectly.Whatyou mean is that they aren t as good as youbecause they don t make as much money.And what exactly are you chasing after,Miss Junior Analyst? Money. It s not the same, I argued lamely.The ground was sinking under my feet. My ancestors felt the same exactway, Emma.They wanted better than whatthey were born to just like you.Give it ageneration or two and your grandchildrenwill be just like me.Rich, privileged, andentitled.How ever will you look downyour nose at me then?I d never been on the receiving endof Gabriel s acerbic tongue.I hated it.Miserable, I wanted us to stop the fightingbut knew there was no stopping this.Itwould run its course and whateversurvived, survived.What didn t, didn t. You re right.I m trying to work fora better life.You know why? Becausebeing poor sucks, Gabriel. I know it does. No, you don t.You don t have thefirst idea of what it s like to be down toyour last dollar, worried about howyou re going to stretch that until payday.Everything you ve ever wanted has beenthere for the taking. Except you.I swallowed hard. Is that why youfixated on me all those years ago,Gabriel? Was it the thrill, the challenge?He shook his head. I adored you,Emma, because you were strong and kindand so much better than anyone I d evermet.My anger receded beneath thesincerity I heard in his voice. Then whydidn t you see me outside of school?Gabriel blinked rapidly. I didn tthink you wanted that. Yeah? Is that why didn t you everinvite me to your parties, Gabriel? Jesus Christ, Emma.The disappointment on his facegoaded me to push. Go on, answer thequestion. Because you didn t belong there.Gabriel s reply cut deeper than Iwould ve liked. That s right.I didn t. Not the way you think.You didn tbelong there because you were better thanthat [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]