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.The firstarrival was a party of four, two men and two women, all of rather roughappearance, who proceeded to take up their positions in the front row of thetwo-shilling seats.I had just handed each of them a programme, when,glancing at the tickets they had given me, I saw that they were for thesixpenny seats."I beg your pardon," I said, "but you have made a mistake, Ithink.These are not your seats." "Ow d'ye mean?" said one of the party,http://thelearnedpig.com.pa/magos/books/conjdick/015.html (2 of 10) [4/23/2002 3:37:05 PM]Chapter XIIIwho might have been, from his appearance, a chimney sweep who had justwashed, or a bricklayer who hadn't, "Who says they ain't our seats?""I mean that these are two-shilling seats.""Well, and we've paid two shillings, ain't we?""But these seats are two shillings each, and you have paid only sixpenceeach.Those are the sixpenny seats, there at the back.""Then why couldn't you say so at first, young man, instead of waitin' tillwe'd took our seats and settled ourselves down comfortable? I'm sure there'sroom enough.Why, there ain't a blessed person in the 'All except ourselves.I tell ye what; here I am, and here I stick.Eh, Bill?"The party referred to as Bill gave a sort of grunt, and observed In a huskyvoice that that was about the size of it.I was beginning to get rather nervous, for these were clearly not the sort ofpeople to be acceptable to the expected aristocrats of the two-shilling seats.Meanwhile two young men had come in with shilling tickets.I showedthem into their places, and then returned to the obnoxious party in the frontrow."Excuse me, gentlemen, you really must move to the seats you have paidfor.You did not give me your tickets till you had taken your seats, or Ishould have shown you to your right places at once.You will get me intoserious trouble.""That's your look-out, for not taking the tickets fust," said the man who hadalready spoken.Fortunately one of the women interposed."Lor, Dan, it ain'tworth makin' a fuss about.We don't want to get the young man into anybother.It'll be all the same come Christmas.Here, come along."The two women got up and moved to the sixpenny seats, and their malecompanions, after a final grumble, followed them.They settled themselvesdown into their new seats, but none of the party had shown any sign ofpaying for their programmes.Meanwhile, a lady and two children had comein.I showed them to their seats and again returned to the first party."Bust my body, if he ain't here again," said my original antagonist."Youdon't want us to move again, mister, do you?""The programmes, if you please.""You don't want 'em back again before the show begins, do ye? Why, yougive 'em to us yourself.""But you have not paid for them.They are a penny each.""A penny each! A penny for a little dirty bit of paper like that?http://thelearnedpig.com.pa/magos/books/conjdick/015.html (3 of 10) [4/23/2002 3:37:05 PM]Chapter XIII"That is the regular price, sir.""Give 'em back to him.It ain't good enough, young man; when I wantliteratoor I buy Lloyd's paper.Summut for your money, that is.A reglerimposition, I call it."And thereupon the whole party handed me back their programmes, butsadly changed for the worse.They had received them crisp and clean.Now,they looked as if ham sandwiches had been wrapped in them.I could hardlyhave believed that the mere pressure of the human thumb, however warm,could have produced such richness of effect.Of course the programmeswere now unsaleable, but I thought it best to take them back without demur,glad to close the matter even on such unsatisfactory terms.The company now began to come in rapidly.The front seats were notpatronised as freely as they might have been, but the shilling and sixpennyplaces were well filled, and by eight o'clock we had a very fair house.Punctually, as the clock struck, the curtains were drawn aside, and theProfessor, in irreproachable evening dress, came forward, wand in hand."Ladies and gentlemen," he began."I propose to exhibit for youramusement this evening a few experiments in Natural Magic.I need hardlytell you that I don't claim any supernatural powers [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]