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.“Send them in,” the judge announces into her phone’s intercom.Within seconds, Jake and Matt hurry into Judge Jacobson’s chambers.Matt immediately wraps his arms around me.“Lou, are you okay?” he asks, patting down my hair and looking into my eyes.“I’ve been so worried about you.”“Ms.Stone?” the judge asks, glaring at me.“Yes, Your Honor,” I say, turning toward her.“I cannot believe someone as intelligent as you are almost let a man as loving and as wonderful as this one get away,” she announces, shaking her head.“People wait their whole lives—for what seems like forever—waiting for something like that to come along.And you, you almost let it slip away.I hope you learned a very valuable lesson on this journey.”Not knowing how to respond, I just nod, gripping Matt’s hand harder.“Mr.Ryan, I assume you will not be pressing charges for the unfortunate ummm… shall we call it a ‘misplacement’ of your vehicle?” Jakes groans and finally nods his head.Christine laughs, clapping her hands.“So we can go now?”“Ms.Zolendz, I’m not done.Not even close.There is still that small matter of the two of you trespassing indecently in the fountains of the Bellagio.” Christine and I bow our heads.We hear Jake and Matt chuckle.“Your Honor,” Matt says, “Christine and Angelisa came here to go to an author signing.They’ve already missed it.Do you think they could—?”“Oh my God, did we really? What time is it?” Christine whines, looking around.“Is it over?”“Started two hours ago,” Jake announces, nodding his head.“It’s okay.I called Ellie and Virginia at Love N Books last night—”“What? When?” Christine asks, staring at me incredulously.“During the whole processing part,” I admit.“So, we were being thrown in jail and you call bloggers?” Chris questions in disbelief.“We get one phone call,” I say, defensively.“And that’s who you chose to call?” Christine marvels.“They’re going to think we’re total, irresponsible assholes.”“Who else was I going to call? These two already knew we were in here,” pointing at Jake and Matt.“They were there when we got caught.What? What did you do? Did you go in a closet and read your books to Jake? Who’d you call?”“Nobody! There was nobody to call!”“Hey, if someone tells me I get to make a phone call, I’m sure as Hell calling someone,” I state, matter-of-factly.“Plus, I wanted Ellie and Virginia to know that we might possibly miss the signing.That’s rude to be a ‘No Call/No show.’ I love them.I wouldn’t do that to them after all the hard work they put—”“Ladies,” the judge says, so quietly we barely hear her.“You’re doing it again.Getting off topic.I think we are closing in on the matter of the arrest.Can we just get to that part, please?”“You’ve obviously spent a very long morning with my sister,” Jake jokes, smiling at her and raking his fingers through his mussed hair.“She’s a bit long-winded at times.”“A bit?” the judge jokes, smiling.Smiling? At my brother? Oh Jesus!Jake laughs, winks at her, and says, “Imagine being her brother.”The judge immediately perks up.Then suddenly, without warning, Judge Caroline Jacobson twirls her finger into her tight bun, loosening it and removing the pencil that held it all together.Her long dark hair falls and cascades down her shoulders, taking a good decade off her age.She shakes it as it fills out and fluffs.I hear the unmistakable gasp from all the men in the room and the groan from Christine.Finally Christine speaks up, “Well Your Honor, since this part of the story is mainly about me—and Jake.I mean, he is the reason I got naked in the first place,” Christine says, with a snarky sound in her voice.“I’ll tell you just what got us wet—and naked.”Twitter: Bad Girls.Bad Girls.Watcha gonna do? #SkinnyDippingAccidents“Yeah.Let’s just start with the biggest size you have,” I smiled as nicely as I possibly could to the saleslady at Vegas Runway Rental; then blew out an exasperated breath when she walked her pointy little heels into the back.She looked like a skeleton, an anorexic skeleton that hadn’t eaten in weeks.I wanted to hug the poor girl and spoon-feed her chocolate pudding until she burst.“And bring out some of that really expensive jewelry too!” Angelisa yelled at the woman’s retreating stick figure form.“Hell, if my brother could read your writing first, he’s going to pay for it by making me look filthy rich.I’m going out like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.”“You need to stop taking things out on your brother.He was just there, and I started zoning out… and… and he witnessed it.Grabbed my phone right out of my hands.” I shook my head and peeked across the fitting area to where the men were getting fitted for tuxedos.“We should have gotten all dressed up before you went and got married again.This doesn’t even make sense doing it now… and all the pictures suck.”“Has anything we’ve done so far on this trip make sense?” she questioned, smiling widely.“Good point,” I agreed.Angelisa jumped up and down at the first sight of the Crypt Keeper saleslady walking toward us with a rolling closet full of the most expensive designer gowns I had ever laid my eyes on.Angelisa, ignoring my words, clapped her hands giddily.“Just rent the most expensive shit, and I’ll feel so much better about you allowing him to read your words before I got to… and for the whole M&M situation.Then we’ll go out and have a blast in that limo.We’ll gamble, dance all night, and take plenty of good pictures—in hot dresses.”I couldn’t even roll my eyes hard enough; they’d have popped right out of their sockets.How could she still be angry with me about the damn M&Ms?I chanced a peek at the guys again.Jake met my gaze and winked at me.I saluted him with my middle finger.Ever since he read the sex scene I wrote, he kept teasing and flirting with me.Said I should put my body where my words are.Yeah, like that would happen—with him.The only way I’d be getting close to his junk is if I was kicking him there for breaking his promise to not tell Angelisa he read my newest words.Ang was as worried about my career as I was.Sincerely, I hadn’t been able to publish anything for the last year.The words just got all mangled up at my fingertips and none of them ever felt good enough to show anyone.Then, after the whole cheating disaster, the words wouldn’t even come anymore.“Here.Try on this,” Angelisa shoved a silky, black piece of material at me.“Stop looking over there.No one is going to save you from this.You need to just put on one of these gorgeous dresses and look at yourself for the first time in three months.Face yourself.”I sighed loudly, but she was right.I hadn’t looked at myself in a full-length mirror for three months.I even made sure I positioned myself away from all the mirrors in the workout classes we took—and especially at the pole dancing class.I hadn’t seen myself—head on, full-length—since this trip began.Not since the day I held that stupid apple pie in my hand and gawked at what life had done to my body.I had to look better than I did then, right? I looked down at the dress in my hand and read the tag.Size ten [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]