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."I only needed one.It was my dream, then, to replace myself with you, when Idied at the Change.With myself--but raised to under, stand the Summermentality, and how to manipulate it.I would havebrought you here, explained it all to you years ago--so that you would havehad time to adjust to your true heritage.But then Ithought you were lost to me.and I found Sparks, instead." Moon grew rigid;but Arienrhod was looking inward."And I decided that Ididn't have to die--that I could live on, myself, and let I Winter live onwith me.I made another plan, to let me do that; I didn't need you any more.But I still want you--I've always wanted you here by me: my own fair child;and no one else's." She lifted Moon's face, with fingers under her chin.No one else's.Moon felt her eyes lock with Arienrhod's, her mind shiftingheights--the voice that spoke to her like a mother, the face of a girl, theface in the mirror; the eyes that call her down the endless spiral of time.Who am I? Who am I? "I'm a Summer!And you're trying to kill my people."Arienrhod recoiled, the moment shattered."He told you that.he's a fool.He can't see that they're not his people, or yours.Moon, Myself, you are a Winter in your heart, just as Sparks is an off worlderShe gestured at the stars."You've been off world you know how the Hegemonyoppresses us--you've seen what they keep from us, and keep for themselveswhile they exploit us.Haven't you?"demanding an answer.Moon stood looking up."Yes, I know it.And I hate it." She saw the death ofcountless mers among the countless stars."The Change has to be changed.""Then you understand how the absurd, tech-hating superstition of the SummersPage 222ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.htmlkeeps us in chains while the off worlders are gone.We'll never break freefrom their control unless we have the time to start developing a technologicalbase of our own.How else can we keep even what little the off worlders leaveto us, unless we destroy theChange pattern?""Not by destroying our people!" My people; they are my people!Blotting out Arienrhod's mirror image with the memories of her family, herchildhood, her island world."Then how?" Arienrhod's voice lost its patience."How else will you everconvince them, or convert them?" But she stood as though she were actuallylistening, expecting a genuine alternative."I'm a sibyl." Her heart lurched as she confessed it to the Queen of Winter,but she knew that Arienrhod must already know it, too."When I tell them the truth about what I am, when I prove it, they'll listen."Arienrhod frowned her disappointment."I thought you'd have lost yourobsession with that religious mummery, after what you've seen off worldThere's no Sea Mother filling your mouth with holy drivel;any more than the other ten thousand gods of the Hegemony exist in any wayexcept as straw men for the off worlders to curse at." A gust of wind pouredout of the Pit, smelling of seaweed; Moon shivered inside her cloak, in spiteof herself.But Arienrhod, wrapped in fog layers of filmy cloth, laughed ather mirror's reflection of fear."Sibyls aren't a--" But Moon broke off again.She doesn't know the truth.Shecan't know.suddenly aware that she held a hiddenweapon, and that she had almost given it away.She felt her broken confidencebegin to mend itself; tried to keep the knowledge from showing in her eyes,afraid that in some way Arienrhod would be able to read her every secret.But Arienrhod was caught in the machinery of her own design."Iknow why you wanted to be a sibyl.because you couldn't be a queen.Butyou can be, now--" A light behind the agate translucency of her eyes."Forget Summer! You can share a whole world with me, a Winter world forever.Throw away your trefoil and wear a crown.Cut the strings that tie you tothose narrow-minded bigots, and be free to think freely, and dream." She castan invisible sign into the abyss.Moon felt the wind's blade at her back."They'll never accept you as one ofthem, or trust what you are now.It's too late to save them, anyway.Thewheels have been set in motion.You can't stop their fate, you can't changeit.Accept it.Rule with me, as you would have ruled after me.We'll buildour dream of a new world together.We can do it together, we'll share it all--" She held out her hands, shiningwith passion.Moon lifted her own hands, spellbound by the nearness, theundeniable reality of her own self, her original self.formed in the image of her creator."Arienrhod," Arienrhod said.Moon pulled back, smarting: Realizing that Arienrhod did not see her at all,had no understanding of why words meant to win and seduce battered and bruisedher other self like stones.Arienrhod's egotism saw only the thing she longedto see.only Arienrhod.And you're wrong.A deep and unshakeable certaintythat was more than her own relief moved in Moon, as though she had somehowbeen tested without knowing it, and had proven her worth."What about Sparks?"She heard her own question, brittle ice to match Arienrhod's expectations."Will we share him too?"Arienrhod's placid face flickered, but she nodded."Why not? CouldI really be jealous of my.self? Could I refuse myself anything?He loves us both, how could he help it? Why should he have to deny it?" asthough she had to make herself believe it."No."Arienrhod's head gave a curious twist."No? No what?"Page 223ABC Amber Palm Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abcpalm.html"No more." Moon drew herself up, feeling the limitless strength the wordreleased in her."I'm not Arienrhod.""Of course you are," Arienrhod said placatingly, as to a stubborn child."Weshare the same chromosomes, the same body--the same man and the same dream.Iknow this must be difficult for you to accept, when you never suspected.Iwould never have had it happen like this.But how can you deny the truth?"Moon wavered, felt a deeper certainty harden her resolve."BecauseI know that what you plan to do is wrong.It's wrong.It's not the way.""Why is it wrong to change the world for the better, when you have the powerto do it? The power of change, of birth, of creation --youcan't separate those things from death and destruction.That's the way ofnature, and the nature of power.its inexorability, its amorality, itsindifference.""Real power," Moon lifted her hand to the sign at her throat, "is control.Knowing that you can do anything.and not doing it only because you can.Thousands of mers have died so that you could keep your power while the offworlders were here; and now thousands of human beings are going to die so thatyou can keep it when they're gone.I'm not worth a thousand lives, a hundred,ten, two--and neither are you." She shook her head, seeing the face beforeher, seeing herself."If I have to believe that being what I am means I'ddestroy Sparks, and destroy the people who gave me everything, then Ishould never have been born! But I don't believe it, I don't feel it,"fiercely."I'm not what you are, or what you think I am, or what you want meto be.I don't want your power.I have my own." She touched her throatagain.Arienrhod frowned; Moon felt her anger like sleet."So they were allimperfect, failures.even you.I always believed I could supply the thingyou lacked.but no; no one can give you that.You're a gutless weakling--thank the gods I don't have to depend on you now toachieve my goals."Moon looked down at her hands, at white fists."Then we really have nothing tosay to each other, after all.You told me I could go." She took a step towardthe bridge, her heart leaping ahead."Wait, Moon!" Arienrhod caught up to her again, drawing her back and around [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]