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. Daniel,am I a terrible person for being a tiny bit jealous that Jaxi s pregnant?He sucked in a quick gasp.If she hadn t been touching him so intimately, she probably wouldn thave noticed. I don t think you could do anything that would make you terrible.Beth clung to her inner fears, refusing to voice them.She might have said they were going to openup more, and she was trying.Even the confession she d just made was hard enough.Other secrets were staying buried and dead. I am jealous.Just a little bit of me. Doesn t make you a terrible person.You got your reasons, and that s facts and life.If you want toknow&  He let out a long slow breath. I understand, maybe not for the same reasons, but I m a bitjealous myself. You are?He cupped her face, his glove warming quickly against her skin. Well, not that I want morningsickness and a big enough belly I can t see my toes, no.Maybe I should have said I m jealous of mybrother, but that could sound as if I wish I d knocked up Jaxi, and that s not it either.He was trying to reduce the stress, she understood where his lighthearted words came from.Alaugh escaped in spite of the burning inside. I can t have any more babies.His smile vanished. Damn, I m sorry.I shouldn t have been joking around.I She covered his mouth with her hand. You didn t know, and I get it.But I wanted you to know.It s awkward, but it s a part of my life.I had a miscarriage after Robbie.It was bad, and I& Her throat choked up tight.He squeezed her again, pushing out the pain and allowing her to hide her face.Or was it for hisown sake? She wondered a moment later when he spoke toward her ear, his face buried against herneck. I can t have kids, I mean, not get anyone pregnant.Caught the mumps last winter and it did anumber on my system.The pain inside intensified, but now it was for his sake, not her own. God, Daniel.I m so sorry.She d thought there was no way a man could possibly understand but she d been wrong.It wasthere in his touch, the tender way he surrounded her as if guarding her from more harm.Sharing hisown hidden hurts, his unanswerable desires.She held his head against her, breathing in the same air.The warmth from his lungs heated it, leaving only a slight bite of the icy weather around them to bringin refreshing cold.They stood for the longest time.Snow slid off branches, landing with plops beside them.Bethsighed then leaned back even as his arms held her cradled against his body.For today, she thought they d both had enough sharing. Well, that was a shining way to end theday.He laughed, a low rumble filled with sympathy and caring. Oh, Miss Beth.Don t you apologizefor letting me in on one of your secrets.One of your precious memories and hurts.I m so honouredright now you trusted me.Trust.It was coming. Me too.Thank you for letting me know.Daniel stroked a finger down her cheek, brushing away a tear she didn t realize had fallen. Lifegoes on.That truth contained both pain and hope. It does seem strange to be so happy for someone and stillhave this ball of hurt wrapped up inside. And there s not much a person can say to make it easier.Well-intended platitudes cut like aknife.She nodded then shivered, unable to stop it from showing. That s our signal it s time to head in. He put a hand on her back, ready to aim her down the pathto the house. Wait.He stopped, confusion on his gentle face.She reached up and cupped his cheek, pressing her lipsto his and kissing him.Putting her heart behind it.When she pulled away, he didn t say anything, justsmiled and guided her home.Chapter FifteenThe dishwater swirled down the drain.The constant yattering of the boys as they dried the dishesand wiped the table felt comfortable, and Daniel spotted the silly grin he wore in the hall mirror as hescooped up the littlest one and tickled him en route to the living room. Okay, partners, your mama will be home in a couple hours, so let s make sure we ve goteverything shipshape.Lance, you got the list? We ve done it all. He held out the paper and pointed. Homework, supper, dishes, chores. Everything?Lance nodded.Robbie squirmed out of his arms and climbed on the couch, bouncing up and downexcitedly. We get to play more games.Chaos ensued.Beth was due back from her teachers development field trip by nine.Daniel hadbeen honoured when she asked him if he wanted to step in and take the boys for the day.Her placingthat kind of trust in him was humbling and made him feel very hopeful about the future.Yet after a fullday with all three tykes, he was ready to admit he was exhausted. Where do you kids get your energyfrom?They d played hide and seek outdoors in the snow and the trees.Nathan discovered one of the catshad a new batch of kittens, the family hidden in the far recesses of the barn.Throughout the day, whilehelping the boys make forts in the bales of the loft and chasing the rest of the barn cats in circles,Daniel had flashbacks to his own childhood.Roaming the countryside with his brothers like a wildcreature during the hours of freedom between chores.Robbie leapt off the couch and tackled him.Then all three boys were on him, wrestling him downand tickling him as he laughed out loud at their antics.The roughhousing calmed eventually, and Daniel guided them into playing a few final board games.He lit the fire and happily accepted the book Lance passed him.The kid s dark eyes bored into himfor a minute, like he was offering a challenge.Daniel glanced at the tome in his hands and chuckled tohimself.Another test [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]