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.But with you.I mean, Ithink all those other guys, the other Needlers, they don t have a problem with doingany of that stuff with anybody any other guy.But I do.I don t& don t want to do anyof that, any of what we, uh, do with anyone else.Just you.He risked looking up, wondering if Ferron was going to lambaste him withsarcasm.After all, he had just made a fairly damning statement, even if it was in aroundabout way.Hell, might as well have come out and said I have a crush on him, Chaz toldhimself angrily.Not that I do that s stupid and childish not to mention that I don t feel thatway about other guys.It s all just purely physical between us just to increase our connection.But he couldn t quite think of another name for what he was beginning to feel for histall partner.Nothing quite seemed to fit when it came to Ferron. I understand what you mean. Ferron s deep voice was quiet when he spoke atlast. I felt that way about Sabi about my late partner.I never thought I could feelanything more than friendship for another man, not when I got here anyway.But being77Evangeline Andersonpaired with him, well, it proved me wrong. His voice grew bitter. The damnAcademy tests don t lie.They know what s inside you better than you know yourself. I&  Chaz shook his head, unsure how to answer that.He d never imagined thatFerron had been in love with his late partner and yet that was certainly how it sounded.He wondered if the tall dark cadet with the scarred face could ever feel that way againor if all the love had been burned out of him by Sabine s untimely demise.The brightgreen stab of jealousy that accompanied the thought surprised him.Why should he careif Ferron could ever love again? Or love another man, anyway.But there was still aquestion in the back of his brain, nagging at him. What about your fiancée Tara? he dredged the name from his memory,remembering that Ferron had said he was going to get married as soon as he graduated.Ferron shook his head. Tara isn t up here, he said, motioning to include the entireAcademy. And she isn t in here. He placed one hand over his heart. My late partnerwas.But since he s gone, I might as well go ahead and make my family happy bymarrying her. He sighed. Come on, Brighton.We need to get in there and at leastmake an appearance.Just kiss on the cheek if you can t stand the lips and try to make agood impression.I promise we ll be out of here in time for lights out.Twenty minutestops.Okay? All right. Chaz nodded reluctantly but inside he could feel the burn as hecontemplated his partner s last words.So he really was still pining for Sabine.Andthere couldn t be any place in his heart for anyone else.Anyone new.Could there?Don t be stupid, he told himself.As if you care.Ferron was already pushing open the door to the lounge and a familiar voice wassaying,  Hey, welcome back.Never thought you d darken this doorway again. Well, here we are, Ferron smiled, more a baring of teeth than an expression of joy. Ferron and Brighton, the team to beat. As long as you re not the team to beat off, the voice, which belonged to Webs,replied.There was a burst of laughter that carried them into the room and Chaz wasback in the Needlers lounge.78Broken BoundariesChapter ThirteenOnce again he found himself in the mixed-up room with graphs and flow charts onthe metal walls and soft, deep blue carpeting and pastel air cushions on the floor.Trying to keep close to Ferron, Chaz accepted a few greetings from the other Needlerswith less difficulty than he had feared.The trick was, he found, if someone aimed a kissat his mouth, he only had to turn his head at the last minute for it to land on his cheek.And although he couldn t bring himself to actually kiss back, he found that kissing theair beside a person s cheek seemed to be good enough.It was the way he d seen hismother greet her women friends the entire time he was growing up and he d neverdreamed that the technique might come in handy for him personally.But now, as heair-kissed his way through the Needlers lounge, he blessed his mom for all the boringgarden parties and soirees she d dragged him to over the years.As they worked their way through the lounge, he found himself observing the otherNeedlers.Though it no longer freaked him out to see two men kissing or touching, itdidn t do anything for him either.That feeling that lack of reaction relieved himgreatly.I m not that way, he thought, following his tall partner through the crowd.I don thave the urge to do anything with any of these guys.I only want to do it with him.With Ferron.He didn t know if only wanting one man instead of many made him gay or latent orwhat but it made him feel better in a way he couldn t define.Maybe there wasn tanything wrong with him after all? Or maybe not as much as he had thought [ Pobierz caÅ‚ość w formacie PDF ]